Posted by on April 5, 2017 | 0 comments

The Power of Your Breath

The other day I had to deliver a talk at a major event. On the morning of the event I woke up feeling terrified. Public speaking still scares me, despite the fact that I do it so often! I do it because I know how valuable it is as a platform for sharing my message and making a difference. That morning the fear was particularly potent! As I lay in bed I was acutely aware of my heart pounding and the thousand knots in my stomach. Then I remembered to breathe. Or more to the point, I remembered how to use breathing to shift how I was feeling. So I got to work. Slowly I started paying attention to my breath. I took slow, deep breaths, ensuring that the duration of the in-breath was the same as the out-breath. I accompanied the breathing with a body scan – moving my attention slowly from one part of my body to the next, starting from the top of my head and ending...

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Posted by on August 11, 2016 | 0 comments

Are You the Hero or the Villain?

  Every story has a hero and a villain. The hero is the guy we’re all rooting for, the one who seems to have all the odds stacked against him yet still manages to overcome near-impossible obstacles to succeed. The villain, on the other hand, is the one we love to hate. He is manipulative, dishonest and sometimes downright evil. We cheer when he is defeated and we can’t wait to see the back of him. Thankfully, no matter how powerful the villain appears, in the end the hero prevails. Good always triumphs over evil. We all have elements of the hero and the villain within us. The endeavors we undertake in the face of challenges and struggle shape us  into the heroes of our lives. However, we also have the potential to sabotage ourselves and our actions. We give in to doubt and fear, and we fail to keep the promises we make to ourselves about the actions we’re going to take to make our dreams come true....

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Posted by on June 8, 2016 | 0 comments

The Magic of Saying “YES”

There is a lot of literature out there about setting and achieving your goals, and a lot of it centers around learning to say YES to new experiences, challenges and opportunities. It’s about learning to step out of your comfort zone and saying YES to life. Take a look at the picture below: Your comfort zone is represented by the innermost circle. This is the place of same-old same-old, where sticking to what’s familiar keeps you stuck in the same patterns and producing the same results. If you never venture out of your comfort zone it will keep getting smaller and smaller, until even mundane activities seem daunting. The middle circle is the challenge zone, the place you get to when you dare to step out of your comfort zone. It’s in this zone where growth and learning occur. Here’s the magic bit – the more willing you are to step out of your comfort zone, the bigger the comfort zone gets! If you keep challenging yourself to say...

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Posted by on May 10, 2016 | 0 comments

How to Make Your Dreams Come True

Ask a group of people how they would go about making their dreams come true, and you will get a jumble of um’s, don’t-know’s and semi-coherent sentences. Ask that same group what they would do if success was guaranteed, and you will get a different set of responses altogether, most likely bold ideas, daring moves and perhaps even quirky suggestions. So the difference, then, is not so much that people don’t know HOW to accomplish their goals, it’s that they fear failing in the process. You have a choice about where to focus your attention – on your fears or on the achievement of your goals. You are never guaranteed success – life simply doesn’t work that way. But by daring you may just make your dreams come true, whereas you will get nowhere if you let the fear of failure stop you from even trying. That’s guaranteed. Share...

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Posted by on April 19, 2016 | 0 comments

Are You Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places?

We all need love in our lives; it really does make the world go around. So what happens when love is scarce? We find substitutes to fill the void. My early years were tough, and my substitute for the love I didn’t get much of at home was approval. I knew that I could get it if I worked hard and did well at school. As a result I made excelling at my studies my singular aim in life, and it worked … to a certain degree. Getting a pat on the back was nowhere near the hugs I craved. There was a major downside. My self-image was based on what others thought of me; I’d be on a high when they approved, and crushed if they didn’t.  I was left feeling completely disempowered. It has taken a lot of inner work in my adulthood for me to learn to be my own cheerleader. What do you crave? Is it recognition, validation, accolades or social status? Why? What inner...

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Posted by on April 14, 2016 | 0 comments

Is The Need To Feel Safe Keeping You Stuck?

I didn’t feel safe as a child. I grew up during a very turbulent time in South Africa’s history, when army vehicles were a common sight in the streets of our townships, and where gangsters roamed the streets, preying on young girls. Home was no refuge either. My father was an alcoholic and he would often erupt into an outbursts at the slightest provocation. In order to feel safe I created structures and habits which were designed to shield me from the mayhem around me. I would check and recheck doors to make sure they were locked. And I would walk around the house, looking out for anything out of place which could potentially trigger another outburst. I had to constantly know what was around the corner or at least anticipate it as best I could. These strategies helped me a great deal as a child, but they have also been a major hindrance to my growth and progress as an adult. Life is not predictable. It is impossible...

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